Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
