i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
