I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
