At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
