I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
