You work out of a Hotel?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Randomize
