I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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