We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
