i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
