I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
