are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
