Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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