After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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