I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
