His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
