yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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