i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
