Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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