I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
