The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
