i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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