Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
