Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
