watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
