Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
