We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
