My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize