I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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