if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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