nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
