Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
