I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
