Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
