no, he came in my armpit
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
