eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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