is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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