so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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