The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
