Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
