some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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