i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
