So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
