at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
