If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
