Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
