Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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