getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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