I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
