remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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