Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wish i was in the wii world.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
