my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
