Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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